I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize