This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
