Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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