he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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