the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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