The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
