when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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