Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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