I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
