you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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