awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
