i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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