these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
