The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
