its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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