Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
