she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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