I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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