My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
