I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
