How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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