I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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