You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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