Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
