just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize