Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
