Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
