the day after is always just damage control
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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