why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
