woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
