Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
