$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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