is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
