I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
