I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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