then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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