THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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