Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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