roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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