Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
