it was like eating out sand paper
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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