Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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