She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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