i just had sex bonerless
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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