I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize