i just had sex bonerless
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize