got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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