Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
