You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
