my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
