well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
