You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
