wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
