the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
