is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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