So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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