My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
